What if that Loss was a Gain?

I was recently talking to a friend about some personal things that I was going through with the Lord. As I was sending her a text and I read back what I had written and I got stuck on something I had written. “Just because something I chose didn’t work out doesn’t mean it was a loss.” I wrote this down in my journal and wrote down “What if it was a gain?” I sat there thinking for a few minutes and tears started to form. My friend had been talking about how I should change my perspective on my situation. This was my change of perspective. What if it was a gain? Some things don’t work out. This is where I am. Decisions I made that didn’t go the way I wanted it to go, and because of this sometimes it creates this sense of shame and failure. Our mind starts to tell us, what if I didn’t hear the voice of God correctly?” Do I even have discernment? But what if it was all the Lord’s leadership? Yes we make decisions that don’t work out, that create pain, hurt and yes maybe it could have been avoided in some way. But that doesn’t mean that it was a total loss. There is this song by Rachel Morley called My Loss is Never Lost on You”. It put language to my emotions. Sometimes in the mystery our confidence is that nothing is ever lost to God, even if it was a lost to us. He feels it with us and will wait with us in the weight of it all. But His leadership is perfect, we may take detours but I pray that all of it leads us back to truth. The truth that he is good and kind. Even in the detours He still know where He is going. Just like a map, you take a wrong turn but it reroutes. Now about changing our perspective. Grieving that loss is so holy and very needed. You can’t just jump into changing your perspective if you haven’t grieved over it. If not that creates an impartial healing. There is such a lie about jumping to just moving on, telling people who are grieving to just move on. There is a special place where grieving is a necessity. It needs to be done, you can’t and shouldn’t skip over it. If you do you can end up later down the line noticing that it was not healed and that created an even bigger hole and will take even more time to heal. But be careful to not get comfortable in your grieving. Do not make a home in your pain. There will come a time when you will have to change your perspective and move on, whether that is stepping into something new or a changing of season. In my particular situation I need to change my perspective to look at all that I gained in what I thought was a loss. What if when you look back to your loss you see that you gained more trust in His leadership? More confidence in your identity? More boldness in who God called you to be? You saw the kindness and love of God in a new way? Loss creates pain, and pain changes our conversation with God. Loss creates space for God to heal. Healing needs to be very carefully done. Healing is heart surgery. And what i’m trying to get at that is exactly what David says in Psalm 34:18 “ The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who whose spirits are crushed.” I remember when I was either 17 or 18 reading this verse and saying “I want to be forever broken if that means you are near to me”. Not broken in a hurt way, but always surrendering to his healing hand. Like the potter and the clay. I want Him close to me always. I want Him to take delight in me. I want Him to find a friend in me. That is through yielding and obeying. There is so much to gain about His character in our losses. He is not ignorant in our losses. He feels it with us, stays in the weight of it with us. But He will also take your hand out of the weight and take you to see the green grass and all you gained in the middle of it with Him. Losses creates history with God, that you will tell your kids, and grandkids. So I ask you again “What if that Loss was a Gain?”